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Thursday, June 05, 2008

Oral Sex

Oral Sex
by: Dr. Dennis W. Neder


Hello Doc,

I’m sure you've been asked this question before. My girlfriend does not want to perform oral sex on me. Is there a way I can get her to change her mind? I mean, ever since the day she told me, I've been fine with it. I told her I had no problem with it. And she doesn’t know that I feel this way. I much rather have her do it than not do it. So is there a way to get her to change her mind at all?


Hello!

You bet there is.

First of all, you need to come clean about your desire for oral sex. Since you've told her otherwise (in effect, lying to her) she doesn't get the opportunity to deal with her own issues surrounding it.

Explain to her that you knew (or sensed) that she wasn't into it and; rather than creating an issue around it, you chose to tell her a little white lie. Now that you're relationship is going well you want to start expanding up your sexual scope to include other fun sex like oral sex, etc.

You should also explain to her that while it's not a deal breaker, you want more variety in your sex and that you'll help her learn to be really good at it. More important, it'll be fun!

At the same time, get her to talk about what she'd like to see more of too. Just as you grow your relationship to be closer and better, you need to focus on doing the same thing with your sex life.

As I constantly tell people, bad relationships that have great sex will continue to survive, but good relationships with bad sex almost always fail.

It's important to have your needs met and to meet hers as well.

Best regards...

About The Author
Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. Having written 3 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on others, hundreds of articles, been on hundreds of radio and TV shows, he is funny, direct and intuitive.

Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com.

Bridal Shower Invitations

Bridal Shower Invitations
by: Angela Oliver

A bridal shower is a great event leading up to the wedding where wedding attendants offer gifts and celebration to the bride and groom. There are lots of things you can bring to a bridal shower to have a wonderful time. The bridal shower invitations themselves are a huge part of the shower. But there are some traditional guidelines for invitations that should be followed. The bridal shower is typically thrown by the maid of honor, unless other arrangements have been made. Whoever the host may be, it is important to be familiar with the traditions.

Who should be invited to the bridal shower? A bridal shower can be just a women’s event or can be co-ed. It is up to the bride ultimately and whoever is hosting the shower should check with the bride. Typically the bride will invite all the women who are invited to the wedding, as well as the bridesmaids, mothers, and grandmothers.

Where should be the location of the bridal shower? Typically the shower is held at the house of the maid of honor, or at a restaurant. Again, the host should check with the bride to see what is most convenient for guests and family. Some showers are long distance, where everyone meets without the guest of honor who may be in another location. The guests call the bride and describe the gifts and then wrap them up to await the brides arrival before the wedding. If the bridal shower is to be held at a restaurant, previous arrangements should be made with guests about payment, and with the restaurant for reservations.

Should you request an RSVP for the bridal shower? It depends on the type of party and type of setting. If it is important to have an accurate head count for the caterer, and RSVP is necessary. If it is more casual type of shower, RSVP may not be needed. This is completely up to the host.

When should the bridal shower be held? Bridal showers are typically held two weeks before the wedding. However, with people having to travel long distances, it is sometime more convenient to have the shower a day or two before the wedding so everyone is able to attend. Having the bridal shower sometime before the wedding gives the bride and bridesmaids more time to prepare the week before the wedding.

What is the bridal shower theme? There are lots of themes for bridal showers. And invitations can be made to incorporate any of these themes. Whether it be lingerie, kitchen, hardware, there are invitations to coordinate with any theme. The theme of the invitation should also reflect the style and personality of the bride.

For the maid of honor, the bridal shower can be the biggest task before the wedding. All these factors are very important when choosing invitations for the bridal shower. Choosing the right bridal shower invitations that coordinate with the theme, and sending them at the right time is a great way to start a perfect bridal shower. And choosing all the right information to include in the invitation is just as important. And sending them to the right people will make the bride happy.

About The Author

Angela Oliver is an author for www.dependableprinting.com, providing providing announcements, invitations, and accessories for your wedding day with a large discount on all online orders. Visit the site for a wonderful selection of bridal shower invitations here, http://www.dependableprinting.com/wedding.htm.

Planning For Your First Date

Planning For Your First Date
by: Terry Leslie

You can easily plan your date by having the following in mind…

Why?
Where?
When?
What?
How?

We will now go through each of these in detail.

Why?

What are your motives? Were you looking for a quickie? If this is the case, best not to tell her upon first approach. General statements like “I’d like to get to know each other better” means that one thing can lead to another.

But, if you would like to have a longer term relationship with this woman, being more specific and sensitive works best. Go ahead and point out her individual qualities you admire and love, and not focusing just on her looks. Perhaps it is her humor, her kindness to people etc. She will feel that you have then taken the time to really get to know her a little better. This will really impress her.

Where?

This will really depend on both your and her motives the moment you met. If the both of you are in it for the quickie, then it is probably mutually agreed its best you head straight for a hotel room or one or the others home.

However, it’s more than likely that the two of you are probably more looking to know a bit about each other first before sex enters the equation. On your first date, it’s probably best to meet up at somewhere more public so she feels both at ease and safe. A popular restaurant, a café, or a park is probably best.

When?

This really depends on the women and what she is comfortable with. If she is more daring, then the early night is perhaps best for an intimate setting. If she is shy and not used to meeting guys, then a daytime date is probably better.

What?

This depends on her interest as well as yours. Any mutual interest is probably best as the both of you are then comfortable with the setting and activity. It could be bowling, a comedy show, horse riding, ice skating pool, a movie etc.

How?

Most women don’t like to give you her home address until they get to know you better. So do not push to know where she lives.

Ask her if she would be more comfortable meeting you at the place of the date or you picking her up at her place. It is likely better to meet her there, particularly on your first date, not only because she will feel safer but also in case it doesn’t work out and you can end the night if all did not work according to plan. Can you imagine the awkwardness of having to drive her home in silence from the date location?

In the mean time, GOOD LUCK!

OR if you would like to receive a FREE copy of a limited number of the eGuide “Instant Magnetic Attraction” and discover “What do Women Really Want From Men”, check out http://www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

About The Author
Terry Leslie is a successful and world renowned authority figure on creating and maintaining successful relationships. A much sought after global speaker in the areas of intimate relationships, self-improvement and human peak potential training.

For more Secrets to Dating and Relationship success, check out http://www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

Acne Fact and Fiction! Do Stress, Facials and Concealer's Help to Promote or Reduce Acne Breakouts?

Acne Fact and Fiction! Do Stress, Facials and Concealer's Help to Promote or Reduce Acne Breakouts?

by: Stephen M. Seabrook

What is Acne?

People have differing opinions as to what acne really is. So, what exactly is acne? Do a couple of occasional but recurring zits qualify as a case of acne or do you have to have a lot of zits?

Believe it or not, the answer is that occasional pimples or zits do not constitute a true case of acne. Although zits do seem to have the ability to appear almost instantaneously and at the most inopportune times like picture day, prom night, spelling bees, sporting events, dates, and special award ceremonies, they are not a true acne outbreak.

The dictionary defines acne as "an inflammatory disease of the sebaceous glands, characterized by comedones and pimples, especially on the face, back, chest, and, in severe cases, by cysts and nodules resulting in scarring."

The anatomical definition of sebaceous glands is: "small subcutaneous glands usually connected with hair follicles. The follicles secrete an oily semi-fluid matter, composed in great part of fat, which softens and lubricates the hair and skin."

Real acne outbreaks are actually a disease of the skin. However, the great news is that acne is treatable. Although it can be very embarrassing, cause great emotional distress, and lower your personal self-esteem for a period of time, acne is not fatal.

There are new and effective treatments being sought by researchers and great advances have been made in the treatment of acne in the last few years. Years ago, when a person had acne, they were pretty much stuck with the problem. There were very few treatments available and the medical profession didn't even consider acne a disease.

It was long thought that acne was the direct result of a diet that was too high in fat and/or sweets. That is no longer the case. Acne is most often associated with puberty and the onset of pre-teen and teenage years but it can and does develop in adults as well. When acne does finally heal, there can be permanent scars left (from picking and popping) that are unsightly and cause patients to suffer long term emotional distress and low self- esteem.

New and very effective skin resurfacing treatments have been developed over the last several years that have, if not completely removed acne scars, at least diminished their appearance and severity.

Acne Fact or Fiction:

You can hear a lot of tall tales about acne today, so let's take a look at the fact or fiction of acne. It is always better to be well armed with factual information so that you don't get fooled by the fictional facts that surround acne.

Fictional Fact #1: Acne is caused by a lack of sexual activity.

Factual Fact: Acne and sexual activity are two entirely separate issues. One has no bearing on the other. Hormones secreted during puberty and young adulthood does have a bearing on acne. They also have a bearing on sexual arousal and activity. However, acne has no bearing on sexual activity nor does sexual activity have any bearing on acne.

Fictional Fact #2: People have acne because they are dirty.

Factual Fact: Dirt has no part in acne. Dirt is dirt. Acne is acne. One has nothing to do with the other. Acne is a build up of oil, dead skin cells, and bacteria. Dirt isn't involved. Keeping the face clean can and will help to prevent clogged pores but dirt does not cause acne.

Fictional Fact #3: Dermatologists can cure acne.

Factual Fact: Dermatologists can TREAT acne. They can help to alleviate the symptoms and help to clear up the pimples, black-heads, and white heads. They can prescribe antibiotics and topical ointments, lotions, and creams that will help but there is no cure at this time for acne.

Fictional Fact #4: Acne is simply a skin problem.

Factual Fact: It's true that acne affects the skin but it can also affect the way a person sees himself or herself. Acne and the scarring it can leave behind may cause a sufferer to become depressed and develop low self-esteem, both of which can lead to larger and more complex life socialization problems. Acne sufferers need the loving support and reassurance from their family and friends.

Acne and Stress:

Can stress actually cause acne? There is ample evidence available to suggest that stress can most assuredly cause an acne breakout or make an existing breakout worse. Our bodies are highly developed chemical laboratories that produce all sorts of stuff.

At puberty, our body begins to produce an abundance of male hormones and this happens in both boys and girls. This overproduction of male hormones can happen at other times in life besides puberty; for example, when a girl or woman starting or stops taking birth control pills.

These male hormones cause the bodies sebaceous glands to shift into overdrive and begin producing sebum. The sebum then travels up hair follicles, clogs the pores and begins the acne development cycle. However, male hormones are not the only cause for the sebaceous glands to begin producing an overabundance of sebum. When we become extremely stressed or overly emotional, our bodies react by causing the adrenal glands to produce a substance known as Cortisol, which is released directly into the bloodstream. Then the chemical chain reaction continues as the sebaceous glands release sebum, the sebum travels up the same hair follicles, clogs the pores and acne develops.

The physical changes in the body can cause exactly the same chemical chain reaction as the emotional changes in the mind. The mind/body connection is very real. Maybe some of it really IS in your head. If that's the case, there is help available to help people deal with the acne that is caused by stress. Reducing stress will just naturally reduce sebum production by the sebaceous glands and reducing sebum production will help to alleviate an acne breakout. Therefore, when you learn to reduce and control you stress levels, this part of the chemical chain reaction is minimized.

It really it isn't any different than restoring a hormonal balance to your body that reduces sebum production. So, in the final analysis, both factors that cause excessive sebum production should be addressed. Solving one problem might help; however, solving both problems could eliminate acne altogether.

Acne Facials:

If you are part of the 95 of the population who suffer from acne, you have more than likely seen TV or print media advertisements for acne facials. Have you ever wondered if there is anything to the claims that their manufacturers make?

In general, the answer is yes! Most acne facials are very effective, pretty much worth the price, and can be used in conjunction with your usual acne fighting regime. They won't necessarily replace any part of what you are already doing; but, rather enhance the overall effects.

You can find acne facials in most health stores, at many cosmetic counters, and online. As a matter of fact, you can probably complete a better comparison of available products online than you can anywhere else.

Most of these acne facial products provide for a three-step program. The first step is a complete facial cleansing. The next step is a steam massage. The final step is a facial mask. The first two steps are designed to prepare the face. The steam massage softens the black heads and the white heads to remove toxins from your skin. The facial mask serves to remove the dead skin cells from the face and to moisturize it as well. The overall effect of the acne facial is a very relaxing, calming, and cleansing experience. It just plain feels good. Anything that helps to calm and sooth your stress can't be bad because we all know that acne is aggravated by high stress levels. Acne facial masks can be used in addition to other parts of your acne prevention and treatment regime or you may find that the facial can, in fact, actually replace some things that you are currently doing.

Acne Concealer's:

One of Newton's laws of physics laws says that, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." That law of physics spills over into a lot of our life situations. For example: A young woman gets a zit and wants to cover it up. The cosmetics industry has a multitude of products designed to do just that. Okay, that's a little far out there but you get my point.

The acne pimples, whether they are white heads or black heads should never be picked at or popped. If they are popped or picked, it can and normally does result is a scar that is much harder to get rid of than the actual pimple, black head or white head. Popping a pimple is not going to make it go away. In fact, popping a pimple is only going to make the acne worse.

Still when you get a zit, you have to go out and face the world so you are looking for ways to make your skin look clear. You want to disguise the zit and make it as unnoticeable as possible. Here is where the cosmetic industry can help. There are a multitude of products designed to make a zit less noticeable. You don't want to use a product that just adds to the problem by adding additional oil to already oily skin. So, you do need to remember, that when you use a cover product to make the zit less noticeable, you need to totally clean the product from your skin immediately when you return home.

Some of the better known as well as more effective cosmetic concealer's on the market today are:

1. Dermablend Smooth Indulgence Concealer: This product produces a smooth matte appearance and was designed specifically for covering acne blemishes as well as for covering Rosacea and dark circles under the eyes.

2. Flawless Skin by Prescriptives: This product will not aggravate acne but will supply a medium to full coverage and it contains SPF 25 for protection from the sun.

Don't let acne control you; but rather, become smart and learn how to control the negative influences in your life that create a positive situation for acne to develop!


About The Author
Stephen M. Seabrook, MBA
President
Nice Specialty Gifts, L.L.C.
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