Oral Sex

Oral Sex
by: Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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Hello Doc,

I’m sure you've been asked this question before. My girlfriend does not want to perform oral sex on me. Is there a way I can get her to change her mind? I mean, ever since the day she told me, I've been fine with it. I told her I had no problem with it. And she doesn’t know that I feel this way. I much rather have her do it than not do it. So is there a way to get her to change her mind at all?

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Hello!

You bet there is.

First of all, you need to come clean about your desire for oral sex. Since you've told her otherwise (in effect, lying to her) she doesn't get the opportunity to deal with her own issues surrounding it.

Explain to her that you knew (or sensed) that she wasn't into it and; rather than creating an issue around it, you chose to tell her a little white lie. Now that you're relationship is going well you want to start expanding up your sexual scope to include other fun sex like oral sex, etc.

You should also explain to her that while it's not a deal breaker, you want more variety in your sex and that you'll help her learn to be really good at it. More important, it'll be fun!

At the same time, get her to talk about what she'd like to see more of too. Just as you grow your relationship to be closer and better, you need to focus on doing the same thing with your sex life.

As I constantly tell people, bad relationships that have great sex will continue to survive, but good relationships with bad sex almost always fail.

It's important to have your needs met and to meet hers as well.

Best regards...

About The Author
Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. Having written 3 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on others, hundreds of articles, been on hundreds of radio and TV shows, he is funny, direct and intuitive.

Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com.

Planning For Your First Date

Planning For Your First Date
by: Terry Leslie

You can easily plan your date by having the following in mind…

Why?
Where?
When?
What?
How?

We will now go through each of these in detail.

Why?

What are your motives? Were you looking for a quickie? If this is the case, best not to tell her upon first approach. General statements like “I’d like to get to know each other better” means that one thing can lead to another.

But, if you would like to have a longer term relationship with this woman, being more specific and sensitive works best. Go ahead and point out her individual qualities you admire and love, and not focusing just on her looks. Perhaps it is her humor, her kindness to people etc. She will feel that you have then taken the time to really get to know her a little better. This will really impress her.

Where?

This will really depend on both your and her motives the moment you met. If the both of you are in it for the quickie, then it is probably mutually agreed its best you head straight for a hotel room or one or the others home.

However, it’s more than likely that the two of you are probably more looking to know a bit about each other first before sex enters the equation. On your first date, it’s probably best to meet up at somewhere more public so she feels both at ease and safe. A popular restaurant, a café, or a park is probably best.

When?

This really depends on the women and what she is comfortable with. If she is more daring, then the early night is perhaps best for an intimate setting. If she is shy and not used to meeting guys, then a daytime date is probably better.

What?

This depends on her interest as well as yours. Any mutual interest is probably best as the both of you are then comfortable with the setting and activity. It could be bowling, a comedy show, horse riding, ice skating pool, a movie etc.

How?

Most women don’t like to give you her home address until they get to know you better. So do not push to know where she lives.

Ask her if she would be more comfortable meeting you at the place of the date or you picking her up at her place. It is likely better to meet her there, particularly on your first date, not only because she will feel safer but also in case it doesn’t work out and you can end the night if all did not work according to plan. Can you imagine the awkwardness of having to drive her home in silence from the date location?

In the mean time, GOOD LUCK!

OR if you would like to receive a FREE copy of a limited number of the eGuide “Instant Magnetic Attraction” and discover “What do Women Really Want From Men”, check out http://www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

About The Author
Terry Leslie is a successful and world renowned authority figure on creating and maintaining successful relationships. A much sought after global speaker in the areas of intimate relationships, self-improvement and human peak potential training.

For more Secrets to Dating and Relationship success, check out http://www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

Why You Should Talk to Fat and Ugly Girls

Why You Should Talk to Fat and Ugly Girls
by: Dan Tolumbro


From Pickupmastery.com:

One thing I’ve been noticing from going out lately is that the hottest girls I end up making out with or number closing usually aren’t in the set when I open..

What happens is I go up to some girls who are maybe 5’s to 6’s, and chat with them, get them giggling, etc. From there, a hot girl, maybe an 8-9 walks up and introduces herself to me. Believe it or not, a lot of hot girls roll with less attractive girls. From there on you already have the group’s comfort and appreciation so it is easy to isolate the hot girl from there.

Just two weeks I had rolled up to a couple less than attractive girls and said “You seem fun, I just had to say hi.” We were chatting back and forth, when a hot 8.9 came up. I started doing some dance spins with her around, and within a minute said “Your legs are tired, my legs are tired; Let’s go sit at that booth.” I took her by the hand and led her to a booth away from the others and we started cuddling. Within minutes, we were making out and I got her number. She’s still calling me back and we’re setting up a meet soon.

Now could this have worked had I waited until the 8.9 was already in the set? Of course. But I’ve found it to be far easier to attract a girl if you hit the set before she arrives. You’ve already won over her friends at this point. Even if you haven’t won over her friends it can still work well if you’re already in the set. Some months back, I went up to two girls who weren’t that interested, and a third girl came up who was interested. She stayed behind when her friends left and we ended up making out at the bar.

On a more general note, you should be playfully bantering with all types of women, and guys as well. Throughout your day, you should be bringing joyful interactions to as many people as possible. The fat ghetto girl serving you at Burger King? Make her smile. You don’t have to outright flirt of course, but just a little playful misinterpretation can help the day.

Also by talking to as many people as possible you can sort of “neg” the girls you finally legitimately approach. If you only go up to hot girls in a bar, the girls around you notice that you’re gaming. However if you’re talking to one legged girls and random guys all around the bar, when you’re finally going up to the hot girls, they assume you’re just being social and that It’s not a full blown approach.

About The Author

Dan Tolumbro is a dating advice coach for men at: http://www.pickupmastery.com.

At his site he provides free information on how to meet women in bars without fear and how to take it to the next level. To receive updates on new dating tactics, amd a free 46 page ebook, send an email to pickupmastery@getresponse.com.

Ten Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex With A Man

Ten Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex With A Man
by: Rod Phillips

You see a lot of articles about what men can do during sex to make it better for the woman, but there's a lot less information - and opinion - on the mistakes women make. So, to set the record straight, here's our list of ten things for women to avoid.

1 Expecting him to think like a woman

We've all seen loads of books with titles like "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" which highlight an unfortunate difference between the sexes. Men and women don't think the same way - and while we're not going to get into why this happens, it's important to remember that fact when you're in a relationship. In general, men are not as romantic as women, they don't see romance as a necessary prelude to sex, and they can divorce sex from their feelings in a way that perhaps most women can't. So there will be plenty of times when a man wants sex even if he isn't feeling romantic and connected to his partner.

For him, the physical pleasure of sex is a reward in itself. He doesn't need to be seduced into feeling desire (though he may appreciate it if you do seduce him!), at least most of the time, for his sex drive is a pretty constant part of his maleness. I think that's what women don't understand.

They know how elusive and emotional their own sex drive is, but they don't appreciate how different it is for a man. Think of it this way: men can enjoy sex with their partner whether they are feeling loving or not; in fact they often find their feelings of love for their partner when they have sex with her. By contrast, women often say they need to feel loving before they want sex - or at least before they are prepared to give themselves heart and soul to a man.

2 Not showing your sexual energy

Women who were brought up to be demure "good girls" (i.e. non-sexual) may find it difficult to express the essence of their feminine energy during sex. And a lot of women also have problems expressing their anger, an emotion which can add real spice to the sexual union between men and women. This lack of sexual energy might appear as a reluctance to initiate sex, a reluctance to be the active partner, a reluctance to make noises or thrust, or simply an overall tendency to wait for the man to lead and direct what happens during sex.

But believe me, ladies, your man will really like it when you express your passion - whether that means you getting on top for woman on top sex, moving in a way that will give you the greatest pleasure, kissing him passionately, or being assertive about what you want in bed.

3 Being too gentle when you touch his penis

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to their penises. If you ever have the pleasure of watching him masturbate, you'll see how much pressure he uses on his penis - especially as he nears orgasm. If you're doing it for him, ask him to tell you what you're doing right and what he'd like done differently. He'll really appreciate your efforts to give him more pleasure.

4 Not experimenting with sex

The saying has it that men think about sex ten times an hour - or is it a hundred? Yes, of course that's an exaggeration, but it isn't much of one. While some women have a high sexual desire, it's true to say that women in general are much less sexy than men when they're not in the bedroom. Men fantasize all the time - about the things they see, what they'd like to do, how they'd like to do it, and so on. With such an active sexual imagination, it's not hard to understand why a bit of variation in the bedroom routine can keep a man sexually happy.

It doesn't have to be way out stuff like bondage, either. For example, try changing sex positions once in a while: take the initiative and get on top of him or let him enjoy rear entry for a change. Talk dirty to him if you've never tried that before; explore and play with new parts of his body, such as his anus and perineum, during foreplay - or even during the main event. Seduce him into a "quickie" by leaving a trail of clothes across the floor into the bedroom. Greet him at the door in sexy clothing. Phone him at work and tell him what you'd like to do to him later that day.....well, you get the idea - use your imagination!

5 Expecting him to read your mind

Yes, we know it's difficult to express your sexual desires directly. But men don't think like women. They don't read clues, they don't get hints. So stop communicating indirectly, and tell him what you want. And give him feedback when you get it! That way, he'll know exactly what he's supposed to be doing, how you feel about it, and whether to do it again. For example, if you like what he's doing during sex, let him know with your moans of pleasure.

6 Criticizing him

I think one of the reasons women can be so critical of their man is that they've never learned the art of direct communication. Than means stating clearly and directly what you want, how you want it, and whether you got it - and how you feel about it afterwards. Men appreciate that style of talk - they know where they stand and it removes the uncertainty for them.

Criticism is an indirect way of saying that your needs are not being met - but if you read number 5 above, then maybe you've begun to understand that your man won't know what you want unless you tell him. If you're judging his love for you on the basis of his ability to anticipate and meet your needs without you saying what they are, well, I'm afraid you aren't likely to be very satisfied. And it won't be his fault.

7 Letting him take responsibility for your orgasm

A lot of us think that a man somehow has a responsibility to "give" a woman an orgasm during sex. After all, that's how a lot of us were brought up - that a man somehow has to look after "his" woman. And that idea extends to making sure she has an orgasm during sex.....but the truth is that women are responsible for their own orgasms. So while it might be nice for your man to help you get there, if you don't make it to orgasm through his efforts, you can always take matters into your own hands.

8 Controlling him by withdrawing sex

One of the most unhealthy things you can do in a relationship is to use sex as a weapon. This is basically a statement that you feel powerless, that you think withholding sex is the only way you can get what you want. Rather than trying to exert some influence over your man by denying him the pleasure of your body, try communicating directly what you want and don't want. (That might even extend to simply saying you don't feel emotionally close enough to your partner to want sex.)

9 Thinking he'll feel the same way about your body that you do

It just isn't so. Men don't attach the judgments to women's bodies that women do. So, for example, even if he thinks your butt really is a bit on the large side, it won't matter to him the way it matters to you. In fact, he probably quite likes it. And he certainly won't be put off making love, or want the lights off, because of it. While you waste time and emotional energy wondering if you're completely undesirable because of some aspect of your body, he'll never give it a second thought. It's women who judge their bodies, I think for the sake of comparison with other women, not men.

10 Not making up with sex after an argument

Well, yes, I know that a lot of couples do make up with sex when they've had an argument, but in fact many more don't. As I said above, most women think that they need to be feeling loving and emotionally close before they want sex. Yet I've met a lot of couples in my work as a sexual therapist who have found that taking the risk and jumping into bed can work really well as a way of getting close again.

Even if you don't feel sexy or loving when you start making love, after a while the simple act of being physically connected in bed can really change the way you feel about each other. The other way of settling an argument (that's talking, seeking understanding, and thrashing out how you feel) is fine: but once in a while try a more direct method of getting your feelings back on track - just go to bed together!

Rod Phillips


About The Author
Rod Phillips is a writer for Sex Techniques And Positions - http://www.sex-techniques-and-positions.com/index.html Send your comments and ideas for better sex to tips@sex-techniques-and-positions.com.

Buying sex toys for her: there is no need to feel awkward

Buying sex toys for her: there is no need to feel awkward
by David Yuri

The latest idea that has crossed your mind - and imagination - has been to bring some sex toys into the more intimate "geography" of your relationship. But you do not know how to tell her that you have also bought sex toys for her. The general major obstacle is that men expect and fear that some sort of catastrophe may befall upon them in case they come one day back home, go to their partner and say: "Honey, I'm home. And guess what I've picked up on the way back?" and then, without warning, inelegantly, the man opens up his surprise shopping bag and precipitously places in front of her eyes - all of a sudden grown bigger - one of those terrific, 7. 5 inches long realistic vibrators, batteries included. Well, the foreseen catastrophe is very likely to occur - if you like percentages, it is in the range of 90% of the cases that some sort of disaster should ensue - if this is the single method you have pictured as appropriate to introduce to her your newly acquired sex friends, in the shape of sex toys for her and for you.

For one thing, you do not want to see her eyes grown bigger with speechless amazement. There's one thing to see her eyes widen with pleasure, and there's a completely different situation when one of the realistic vibrators you have imagined as just what the doctor ordered is reason of shock for her. Therefore, the best manner to handle your desire of seeing your partner feel comfortable with receiving and then using some sex toys for her is to have a talk prior to your going online and ordering them for her. So here are some facts to help you gather some courage necessary to talk to her about a subject of this sort.

Here's a good starting point: did you know that according to an impressive number of surveys women who are already involved in a relationship are more open than single ones to the idea of using vibrators and other sex toys so as to get the best out of their sex life? In fact, not only are they more open to the idea, they are actually putting it in practice more often then those unmarried or uninvolved in a stable relationship. Sex toys are often perceived - by men and women alike - as a reliable manner of actually broadening the horizons of the already beaten path of sexual experiences. Subsequently, before making a gift out of the available realistic vibrators, glass dildos, beads, bullets or any other sex toys talk openly to her or at least give her a hint, a hint generous enough for her to understand that it has crossed your mind to acquire some sex toys for her.

Then, when you have settled to buy sex toys for her, invite her to join you in your search, especially if she is a novice in the field. Moreover, remember her that you do not think that your sex life is on a downturn. Make it as specific as possible. On the other hand, if there are negative aspects in your sexual practices of which you and her are both aware, you may try to present the toys as a potential, reliable means of repairing some idle facets in your relationship. Realistic vibrators may come as her first choice; for a beginner, realistic vibrators, i.e. looking like the real thing, are more easy to become accustomed to simply because they are generally designed to accurately represent a penis. There are even testicle details added to the penis-like shape of such realistic vibrators. A plus point is given that the range of realistic vibrators is remarkably wide, so she will surely find the one to suit her.

Women use realistic vibrators for penetration; however, most of them also use them for stimulating the areas around or on their clitoris. So do not be surprised if your partner chooses a product like the clitterific flex: not only does it stimulate the vagina on the inside, but it also "assists" the woman on the path toward untried before clitoral orgasms. Therefore, your partner has finally unleashed her desires and is enjoying the benefits of her choice; in the meantime, watching her get the right vibes is surely a sight to arouse you. After she has been intensely stimulated by her toy, your penetration is expected with increased enthusiasm. In the end, both she and you will appreciate the significance that the sex toys for her has in the improvement of your regular sexual intercourse, even if they remain within the boundaries of the real-like thing; the true-to-life feeling remains in the appearance of the vibrators, because otherwise they definitely move more swiftly and steadier than fingers, hands, penis, tongue and other parts of your body you use in order to stimulate your partner sexually, so as to arouse either clitoral orgasms or inside-vagina unique sensations.

Consequently, discomfort should not accompany you when you decide to surprise your partner with a more unusual gift. The fact should only embarrass you as long as you prove really clumsy in presenting her with your gift. If prior conversations on the topic have been concluded favorably for the acquisition of sex toys and if you have noticed that your partner has a preference for a certain type of toys, then you know what to do. After you purchase the toy(s), all you have to do is to find the nicest way to gift wrap it (them) and maybe attach to the wrap up a suggestive, sexy invitation. If everything is done appropriately, your gift will be received with words and giggles of satisfaction.

About the author:

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Choosing Sex Toys For Her as a gift will prove as a helpful method of
improving your sex life as long as you have had an insight into
your partner's preferences. If you want to pleasantly surprise a
sex toy beginner, Realistic Vibrators are more often than not the perfect pick.

3 Ways to Fight Erectile Dysfunction

3 Ways to Fight Erectile Dysfunction
by Tommy Lee

1. Viagra (Sildenafil)

The most popular method amongst erectile dysfunction cases
(around 90%). It is widely known that 70% of patients achieve
success. Viagra takes effect in around 20-40 minutes, but
sometimes takes 1-2 hours to take effect for some people.
Sometimes it doesn't even work at all.

However, Viagra is notorious for its common side effects. These
include headaches, flushing, Dyspepsia (upset stomach), Nasal
blockage, Urinary Tract infection, Abnormal Vision (sometimes
blindness!), Diarrhea, Dizziness and Rashes. Basically you are
vulnerable to these side effects while achieving better sexual
function! This is generally not recommended because the negative
effects outweigh the positive ones.

2. Horny Goat Weed

Also known as Epimedium, Horny Goat Weed is an odorless Chinese
herb that has been used by practitioners for over 2,000 years,
and is gaining popularity daily. The funny name came from
hundreds of years ago when a farmer noticed his goats sexual
behavior became more noticeable when they consumed this unknown
weed - Epimedium, which was later named Horny Goat Weed.
Amazingly Horny Goat Weed has no side effects.

Horny Goat Weed is basically a sexual enhancement pill like
Viagra without the side effects. Users have also reported an
increase in semen volume, and an overcome in sexual disorders.
Horny Goat Weed is gaining popularity amongst erectile
dysfunction patients, even now.

3. Herbal Alternative Viagra

These new pills are gaining popularity faster than any other
pill. Called 'Herbal Viagra' or 'Herbal Alternative Viagra'
these act more faster (15 minutes) and longer (up to 4 hours)
than normal Viagra and work better without the side effects,
since they are made from herbal ingredients. Most contain
effective ingredients such as L-Arginine, an amino acid
considered one of the most effective sexual enhancement
nutrients ever. Some also contain Horny Goat Weed or Epimedium
in their formula, which makes these products a better boost in
sexual drive than any other product.

Also, herbal alternative viagra pills are cheaper than Viagra,
which can cost up to $14 per pill. You can buy herbal Viagra for
$1 or $2 per pill, which is very affordable for many people.
Thousands of people have trouble finding the most affordable and
effective erectile dysfunction pills every time. This method is
recommended to any erectile dysfunction patient.

About the author:

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Tommy Lee helps those suffering from erectile dysfunction find
the best way to fight and treat them. Herbal Alternative Viagra
here.

Sex is a Good Thing!

Sex is a Good Thing!
by: Gwenneth Morgan

Orgasmic sex between consenting adults provides more benefits to humans than simple shared intimacy. It's also important in maintaining one's physical and mental health.

Numerous studies have shown the beneficial effects of regular orgasms. Sex has been shown to be a great cardiovascular workout and it has been proven to relieve stress, thereby preventing stress related disorders. Regular, satisfying sex may even help you live longer!

On the other hand, sexual frustration, in my opinion, is one of the greatest problems humans face today.

Now, I'm not talking about a guy who's frustrated because his wife has been out of town for a week. I'm talking about 40 year old guys who have never had sex. I'm talking about women who have been so scarred sexually, that they are hoping to get through the rest of their lives without ever having to have sex again. Where does this come from?

Well, let's start by taking a look at history and religion. In many cultures, sex has been labelled "dirty." And it's evident in the way we interact with each other every day that this perception has endured. One of the most obvious instances is the work "fuck." Apparently left over from even more repressive times, the letters are intials describing a stockade offense, "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge." Today, it has become one of the most negative and widely used words in American English.

Look at high school boys who already have distorted views of sex before they've even participated in the act. We hear things like, "eat me", "bite me", "suck this," "nice girls don't but naughty girls do," and even as they get older, "she's fun, but she's not the kind of girl you want to marry!" How many good hearted and adventurous teenage girls have submitted to the wishes of their beau, only to be shamed, publicly ridiculed or abandoned?

Then boys become men. They get married to "nice girls" and spend the rest of their lives wishing their wives were more adventurous in bed. How many husbands hassle and harrangue their wives to give them what they need (often without thinking of their wife's needs) until she is fed up and no longer interested at all? Our whole concept of sex has become so twisted that many actually scorn its healthful and bonding effects because it has become so tangled up with pain.

And don't forget the contribution of acute sexual frustration to crime. Every sexual offense has its roots in sexual pain and frustration or misconceptions about sex. If sex offenders were capable of having loving, responsible, adult relationships, there would be no need for them to commit such crimes as rape and molestation.

What can we do?

First, let's get it straight that sex is not "dirty." It is a perfectly normal biological function and ignoring the urge won't make it go away. This is simply the way we are designed. If we truly have respect for some kind of all powerful Creator, then it's time we honor the fact that He/She/It made us the way we are. The Human body is a beautiful thing and it's wrong for us to attach such negative connotations to any aspect of our natural selves in favor of some Human conception of how we "should" be.

We must learn to embrace our sexuality. Just because you might have had a bad experience in the past does not mean you're incapable of having a good sexual experience. If your current sex life is not all that you'd like it to be, talk to your partner about what you'd like and work together to break through inhibitions. If your partner is too demanding or not open to such discussion, I suggest you think about finding another partner.

Teach our children. Studies show that children who grow up in households where the parents are more open about their bodies, as opposed to always hiding naked bodies behind closed doors, are actually better adjusted as adults. Children who get unconscious signals that the naked body is shameful or disgusting end up with many more personal hang ups and inhibitions resulting in lower self esteem which only makes it harder to enjoy a healthy sex life.

And don't be afraid to talk to children about sex. It certainly encompasses far more than "where do babies come from." Considering the impact sex, or lack of sex, has on one's life, it seems pretty silly to make everyone figure it all out for themselves by trial and error. Don't shrink away from opportunities to talk to your children about what you've learned when it comes to choosing a partner and maintaining a relationship. Even if you don't feel very successful, they can benefit from your openness and experience.

Guys, apply yourselves and learn how to get laid. Don't say stupid stuff that only serves to increase resistance to sex. You want sex. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face by sending messages that what you really want is disgusting or loathesome. And, don't let yourself get to a point where you are so desperate for sex it's all you can think about. It shows. We've all seen an unneutered dog that tries to hump the leg of everyone that comes along; it's not attractive and it won't help you reach your goal. Don't be afraid to take matters into your own hands periodically to release excess tension so you can present the real you to prospective partners.

And remember, sex is a two way street. Men wouldn't want sex all the time if they rarely ever had a real orgasm and it's the same for women. I know women who have never had an honest to goodness, shuddering, mind blowing, toe curling orgasm! Why, because their partners were far more concerned about their own pleasure instead of focusing on nuturing a long lasting sexual relationship. If all you care about is yourself, then go and pay someone to take care of your needs. Legal and regulated prostitution could go a long way to alleviating the overwhelming amount of sexual tension and resulting crime in our society.

Imagine a world where there is no sexual tension. Hold on, I'm not talking about a world where people run around naked having sex everywhere with anyone who happens to come along. I'm talking about a world where people are happy and comfortable with their bodies and sex. Where people are not so desperate for physical affection that they are actually more attractive. A world where people feel safe and willing to open themselves up to all the beneficial effects of sex. It's a tall order, I know. We've never had such a society, but it's worth it to try.

About The Author

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Gwenneth Morgan is a 40ish, Pagan wife, mother and businesswoman who is totally fed up with the Old Way. With the belief that humans have evolved to a point where we can, as a group, embrace the Light, she has found the courage to openly share her views and encourage others to do the same. Visit her web site to learn more. http://www.gwennethmorgan.com.